Soft Life in a Loud World
- dithota84
- 7 days ago
- 4 min read
The world is loud. Like, really loud. Everyone is screaming about what to do, who to be, how fast to move, and how much you should have accomplished by now. And if you're not careful, you'll wake up one day living someone else's dream, overworked, overwhelmed, and oddly empty.
That almost became me.
So, today, I want to share a personal and honest story: how I found my version of the "soft life" as a Nigerian woman living abroad, juggling wifehood, motherhood, purpose, and peace in a world that rarely slows down.
What Even Is the "Soft Life"?
If you spend any time online, especially as a woman, you’ll come across this trend: women embracing "softness." It’s no longer cool to be burnt out or brag about surviving on two hours of sleep. Instead, we crave ease, safety, slowness, beauty, and breathing room.
But for some of us, especially from Nigerian backgrounds, this "soft life" idea initially sounded like a fairy tale or lazy talk. We were raised on the principles of hustle, survival, performance, and obedience. If you’re not sweating, are you even doing enough?
My Turning Point: Motherhood + Moving Abroad
Moving to Spain after life in Cape Town was already a culture shock. Add becoming a wife and then a first-time mum in a foreign land? Whew. Let’s say I had no choice but to slow down. For the first time, I had to pause. Not because I wanted to, but because I had no village. My "go go go" mindset couldn’t survive the demands of raising a baby without help. And in those quiet moments, when my son finally napped and I could hear my own thoughts again, I realised how much noise I had absorbed.
I started redefining success.
What Soft Life Looks Like for Me (In Real Life)
1. Saying No Without Guilt; I’ve learned to decline things, extra work, unnecessary social events, unaligned collaborations. My peace is a priority.
2. Waking Up Without Panic; The goal is no longer to chase the clock but to enjoy mornings. Coffee. Scripture. My baby's giggles. Light.
3. Creating Instead of Competing; I no longer feel behind when I see others win. I focus on building my own lane and blessing those assigned to me.
4. Dressing for Myself; Some days it's silk and scent. Some days it’s oversized tee and lip balm. Either way, it’s for me.
5. Prioritising Health; From mental check-ins to drinking water, taking supplements, and using clean products, my health is now part of the soft life.
(Shameless plug alert: I’m now a wellness partner with my Ringana shop because clean living is part of this journey. And yes, I only recommend what I actually use.)
Also, I recently opened my Digital Store, a digital shop for anyone looking to learn the skills, tools, and systems to build wealth online. Whether you're exploring the social media space, diving into digital entrepreneurship, or just want to understand how to monetize what you already know, you'll find something valuable inside.
Hard Truths No One Tells You About the Soft Life
Choosing peace will confuse people used to your chaos
Slowing down might feel like failure at first
You’ll start losing friends who only know how to trauma bond
You will miss the high of hustle, but not the burnout
It takes real strength to be gentle in a world that rewards aggression
How You Can Start Yours (Wherever You Are)
1. Define What Soft Looks Like for YOU; It’s not always candles and beach days. Maybe for you, it’s boundaries. Or longer baths. Or finally leaving that draining job.
2. Unlearn the Need to Always Be "Doing"; Busyness doesn’t equal value. Learn to just be. Rest is productive too.
3. Choose Healing Over Hustle; It’s tempting to keep moving so you don’t feel. Don’t. Feel it. Heal it. Then grow.
4. Build Rituals That Anchor You; Play your favourite music. Light a candle. Pray. Walk. Journal. Whatever helps you come home to yourself.
5. Don’t Wait to Be Wealthy to Feel Soft; Soft life isn’t about money. It’s about how you live with what you have. Start now.
Final Thoughts
I didn’t grow up knowing what soft life looked like. I had to teach myself, unlearn what wasn’t mine, and build it from scratch.
Now, every time I pour my coffee slowly, turn off my phone, or say "not today," I know I’m honouring the girl I’m becoming.
She is gentle. And powerful.
And so are you.
Your turn:
What part of the soft life are you learning to embrace right now?
Let’s chat in the comments or DM me on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok.
I’d love to connect with you.
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Soft life is a journey, and I’d love to walk it with you. 🖤
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